The Getaway (Diary of a Wimpy Kid Book 12) Read online

  The people behind us were getting frustrated we

  weren’t moving, but WE were being held up by the

  guy in front of us. He had to remove everything

  he had on that was metal, and it was taking him

  FOREVER.

  Rodrick told me these machines can see through

  your CLOTHES, and then someone checks a

  screen to make sure you’re not trying to sneak

  by with anything dangerous. All I can say is I

  wouldn’t wanna be the person with THAT job.

  It turns out the X-ray machine that sees

  through your clothes is only for grown-ups, and

  kids go through a metal detector instead. Still, I

  wasn’t gonna take any chances.

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  Once we got through security, we grabbed our

  stuff from the conveyor belt and took off. Our

  gate was down on the lower level, so we had to

  take the escalator.

  We couldn’t even do THAT without causing a major

  problem. Manny’s stuffed animal got stuck in the

  bottom of the escalator, and he had to press the

  Emergency Stop button so Mom could pull it free.

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  Dad checked his watch and said we might still

  make it, so we ran for our gate.

  But the gate was all the way at the other end

  of the terminal, and we knew we couldn’t make it

  in time on foot.

  Just then, a cart for handicapped passengers

  came along, and Dad stopped it and asked the

  driver if we could hitch a ride. The rest of us got

  on board before she could say no.

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  After that, it was smooth sailing. The terminal

  was pretty crowded, but people moved out of our

  way when they heard us coming.

  The driver dropped us off at our gate, but the

  door was CLOSED. I thought that meant we

  had missed our flight and we could turn around

  and enjoy a nice Christmas Eve at home. But it

  turned out the flight was DELAYED, so all that

  stress was for nothing.

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  The reason the flight was delayed was because of

  the bad weather, and it was gonna be another

  HOUR before we got on the plane. We looked

  for a place to sit down in the boarding area, but

  people were hogging the seats.

  Mom told me that once we got on the plane,

  we’d be in the air for about six hours, which was

  news to ME. I asked her for some money, and I

  bought a couple of magazines, some snacks, and

  headphones at a shop near our gate.

  The only thing I needed that the store didn’t have

  was SOCKS. My right sock was still soaking wet

  from stepping in that puddle, so I went into the

  bathroom to wring it out in the sink.

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  When I was done, my sock was still DAMP, and

  I really didn’t wanna put it back on my foot. The

  bathroom had one of those high-powered hand

  dryers, and that gave me an idea.

  I couldn’t wait to get back home and start

  making some MONEY on this idea. I figured I

  could make a KILLING on rainy days.

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  The only problem with the hand dryer in the

  airport bathroom was that it was a little TOO

  powerful.

  My sock started SMOKING, and then it went

  FLYING.

  I decided I’d just get a new pair of socks at the

  resort, because there was no way I was gonna

  wear something I had to fish out of a URINAL.

  When I came back from the restroom, they were

  making an announcement at our gate.

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  I figured they were ready to start boarding the

  plane, but they were just letting us know there

  was another DELAY.

  And it went on like that for the rest of the

  day. Apparently, this storm was causing problems

  everywhere, and the plane we were supposed to

  fly out on was stuck at some OTHER airport.

  I was starting to worry that my electronic device

  was gonna run out of juice while I was on the

  plane, so I looked for a place to charge it. But I

  guess everyone else was thinking the same thing.

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  The only available outlet was in an awkward place.

  But when your battery is at 15%, you gotta do

  what you gotta do.

  Our plane finally arrived at the gate, and all the

  passengers who were on it got off. But if flying

  is supposed to be FUN, you’d never know it from

  the way these people looked.

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  The gate agent got on the loudspeaker and

  said we’d be boarding shortly. Then she said our

  flight was “overbooked,” and they needed a few

  volunteers to give up their seats.

  She said that whoever volunteered FIRST would

  get three hundred dollars and a free night at the

  airport hotel.

  I didn’t need to hear another word. I got

  to the desk before she’d even finished with her

  announcement and said I was her guy.

  Unfortunately, Mom wouldn’t LET me volunteer,

  and nobody ELSE stepped up, either.

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  So the gate agent increased the offer to FIVE

  hundred dollars, and some woman snapped it up

  right away. I just hope she enjoys spending

  my money.

  After that, the agent made ANOTHER

  announcement. She said the flight crew on

  our plane had worked too many hours because

  of all the delays, and we had to wait for a

  REPLACEMENT crew to come in before we could

  take off.

  Now everyone at our gate was MAD, because what

  was supposed to be an early flight was turning

  into an OVERNIGHT one.

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  When the new flight crew finally arrived, they

  didn’t look happy to be there. That’s probably

  because they were expecting to spend Christmas Eve

  at HOME, so I knew EXACTLY how they felt.

  After the crew got on board, they started letting

  passengers on the plane. My family got to go

  first, because they let people with young kids board

  before anyone else. But the gate agent stopped me

  at the door.

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  She said my carry-on bag was too big to fit in

  the overhead bin, so it had to go down below with

  the rest of the luggage. That was fine with ME,

  because I didn’t want to deal with my bag on the

  plane anyway.

  When I got on board, I was pretty impressed.

  The seats were a LOT bigger than I expected,

  and they were covered in real leather.

  I asked Mom what row we were in, but she said we

  needed to keep moving. She said this was the first-

  class section, and our seats were in ECONOMY.

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  But the economy section wasn’t HALF as nice as

  first class. The seats were packed together, and

  they barely had any cushioning.

  Mom said our seats were toward the middle of

  the plane, so we headed there. But Dad hung

  back in the first-class section. He said he got

  UPGRADED because of all his frequent-flier miles

  and that he’d
catch up with us after we landed.

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  Mom didn’t seem happy about this news. She said

  it wasn’t fair for him to be in first class while we

  were in economy, so she said we’d all take TURNS

  sitting in Dad’s seat during the flight.

  But Dad said the rest of us weren’t experienced

  travelers like him, and we wouldn’t even know how

  to ACT in first class.

  Luckily, there were other passengers trying to

  board, so Mom and Dad couldn’t get into a full-

  blown argument right there in the aisle. Dad sat

  down in his seat, and we went to find ours.

  The rest of us were all in the same row. Mom,

  Rodrick, and Manny sat on one side of the aisle,

  and I had the middle seat on the OTHER side.

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  Rodrick tried to get me to switch with him so he

  didn’t have to sit by Manny, but I was happy

  right where I was. I didn’t have a whole lot of

  leg room, but other than that, it wasn’t so bad.

  All the other passengers boarded after us, and

  people seemed pretty stressed trying to get their

  stuff into the overhead bins. So I was glad they

  took MY bag at the gate.

  Everyone put away their bags and sat down in

  their seats. The pilot made an announcement that

  the doors were closing, and the seats to my left

  and right were still empty.

  I couldn’t believe my luck. As soon as we took

  off, I was gonna stretch out across all three

  seats and get myself a good night’s sleep.

  It was even BETTER than being in first class.

  But right before the doors closed, one more couple

  got on board. And they had a BABY with them.

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  I didn’t think these people would be in my row,

  because there were only TWO empty seats. But

  the baby sat in his mother’s LAP.

  See, if I were in charge of the airline, the rule

  would be one person per seat. Because if this

  couple had TWINS, it would’ve been completely

  out of hand.

  I asked these parents if one of them wanted to

  switch seats with me so they could be next to each

  other. But the mother said she liked the window,

  and her husband said he liked to be on the aisle.

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  Right after that, the pilot came on the intercom.

  He said that before we took off, there’d be a

  brief safety video to show us what to do in case of

  an emergency.

  I was already nervous about flying to begin

  with, and I didn’t like hearing there might be an

  “emergency.” So when the safety video played, I

  paid ATTENTION.

  But as far as I could tell, I was the only person

  who DID. Everybody else completely tuned out.

  The beginning of the video was just basic stuff,

  like how to fasten a seatbelt.

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  But after that, it got SERIOUS.

  The video’s narrator said that if there was a

  “loss in cabin pressure,” oxygen masks would drop

  from the ceiling. Well, I don’t know what “cabin

  pressure” is, but I didn’t like hearing that we

  might LOSE it.

  The people in the video didn’t look bothered at

  ALL when the oxygen masks dropped down,

  though. In fact, they looked kind of HAPPY

  about it.

  Then the video got even WORSE. The narrator

  said that in case of a “water landing,” we’d need

  to evacuate the plane.

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  Now I was REALLY freaked out. I thought

  the whole point of an airplane was that it was

  supposed to stay in the AIR.

  The safety video said there were emergency exits

  on the plane and the people sitting in the exit

  rows would need to open the doors so everybody

  could get out.

  The emergency exit was one row behind me, and

  I realized the people sitting there weren’t paying

  attention to the video at ALL. So I got them

  to put down their magazines and listen up.

  The flight attendants didn’t seem bothered that

  no one was watching the safety video. I figured

  they probably had their OWN exits, so if there

  was any trouble, I was gonna follow THEM.

  The video showed the plane in the water with

  inflatable slides coming off the emergency exits.

  And they actually made it look FUN.

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  Then the video said our seat cushions doubled as

  “flotation devices,” and each one had a whistle

  attached to it. Now I had questions, so I

  pressed the button above my seat to get the

  flight attendant to come over.

  What I wanted to know was, if we landed in

  shark-infested waters, would it really be such a

  good idea to blow the whistle? It felt to ME

  like we’d basically be inviting the sharks over for a

  free lunch.

  The flight attendant said I didn’t need to

  worry, because all the seat cushions were coated

  with shark repellent, so they wouldn’t even come

  near us.

  I was pretty happy to hear that, but now I’m

  wondering if he was pulling my leg.

  I don’t really get the point of the whistles,

  though. It’s not like anybody’s gonna hear them

  if you’re in the middle of the ocean.

  And if you’re lucky enough to have a cruise

  ship pass by, believe me, THOSE guys aren’t

  stopping to pick you up.

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  After the safety video was over, I felt