The Getaway (Diary of a Wimpy Kid Book 12) Read online

  The Third Wheel

  Hard Luck

  The Long Haul

  Old School

  Double Down

  The Getaway

  1

  2

  3

  4

  5

  6

  7

  8

  9

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  12

  The Wimpy Kid Do-It-Yourself Book

  The Wimpy Kid Movie Diary

  The Wimpy Kid Movie Diary: The Next Chapter

  THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID SERIES

  MORE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID BOOKS

  Diary of a Wimpy Kid

  Rodrick Rules

  The Last Straw

  Dog Days

  The Ugly Truth

  Cabin Fever

  by Jeff Kinney

  AMULET BOOKS

  New York

  DIARY

  PUBLISHER’S NOTE: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Cataloging-in-Publication Data has been applied for and may

  be obtained from the Library of Congress.

  ISBN: 978-1-4197-2545-6

  eISBN: 978-1-68335-111-5

  Wimpy Kid text and illustrations copyright © 2017 Wimpy Kid, Inc.

  DIARY OF A WIMPY KID®, WIMPY KID™, and the Greg Heffley design™

  are trademarks of Wimpy Kid, Inc. All rights reserved.

  Book design by Jeff Kinney

  Cover design by Chad W. Beckerman and Jeff Kinney

  Published in 2017 by Amulet Books, an imprint of ABRAMS.

  All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical, electronic, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher. Amulet Books and Amulet Paperbacks are registered trademarks of Harry N. Abrams, Inc.

  Amulet Books are available at special discounts when purchased in quantity for premiums and promotions as well as fundraising or educational use. Special editions can also be created to specification. For details, contact [email protected] or the address below.

  ABRAMS The Art of Books

  195 Broadway, New York, NY 10007

  abramsbooks.com

  to ANNIE

  DECEMBER

  Sunday

  The worst part of having someone tell you about

  their vacation is trying to pretend you’re HAPPY

  for them. Because no one wants to hear about all

  the fun they

  DIDN’T have.

  The only vacations I want to hear about are the

  ones where things went WRONG. That way, I

  don’t feel bad for missing out.

  2

  Well, my family just got back from vacation,

  and believe me, if I could’ve stayed home, I

  WOULD’VE. But I didn’t have a choice.

  A few weeks ago, this vacation wasn’t even

  supposed to HAPPEN. We were just having

  a normal December, and I was really looking

  forward to Christmas.

  But Mom and Dad were getting all stressed out

  about everything we had to do to get ready for

  the holidays. We were WAY behind on decorating

  the house, and nothing was going the way it was

  supposed to.

  3

  I’m sure we could’ve gotten our act together in time

  for Christmas. But one night an ad came on TV

  that TOTALLY turned our holidays upside down.

  The commercial was for this place called Isla de

  Corales, which is where Mom and Dad went for

  their honeymoon. And the reason I know that is

  because every time an ad for that place comes on

  TV, the two of them get all kissy-faced.

  4

  It makes me uncomfortable thinking about Mom

  and Dad before they had us kids. And I wouldn’t

  HAVE to if Mom didn’t break out their honeymoon

  album every year on their anniversary.

  The night after that ad came on, Mom and Dad

  made an announcement. They said that THIS

  year, we were gonna SKIP Christmas and all go

  to Isla de Corales instead.

  When I asked how we were gonna get our gifts

  to the resort, Mom said the trip WAS our gift.

  5

  I thought that sounded like a TERRIBLE idea,

  and I was surprised Dad was on board with it. He

  usually doesn’t like to spend a lot of money, and I

  was sure this resort was gonna cost a FORTUNE.

  But he said he was sick of the cold weather, and he

  wanted to escape to someplace warm.

  Personally, I don’t have a problem with cold

  weather. In fact, generally speaking, the worse

  it is outside, the happier I am.

  6

  I figured Manny and Rodrick would help me talk

  some sense into Mom and Dad, and we’d put a

  stop to this idea. But those guys weren’t any help

  at ALL.

  So I had to accept that we weren’t gonna have a

  normal Christmas at home. But what I REALLY

  didn’t like was that we had to FLY to this place.

  I’d never been on a PLANE before, and I

  wasn’t crazy about the idea of locking myself in a

  metal tube.

  7

  Nobody ELSE seemed worried, though, and two

  weeks later, on a night when we should’ve been

  hanging up our stockings and sitting around the

  fire watching Christmas specials, we were packing

  our suitcases for this island getaway.

  Monday

  We left the house around 8:00 on the morning of

  Christmas Eve. Dad was pretty uptight because

  he wanted to leave an hour EARLIER, but Mom

  said he was being ridiculous and we’d get to the

  airport in plenty of time.

  It was only about twenty degrees outside, but

  Rodrick was already dressed for vacation.

  8

  It turned out Dad was right, we should’ve left

  earlier. Apparently, Christmas Eve is one of

  the busiest travel days of the year, so the roads

  were CHOKED with families driving to see their

  relatives. And nobody really seemed to be in the

  Christmas spirit, either.

  What made things a lot worse was when it started

  to SNOW. After that, things slowed to a crawl.

  Mom and Dad started arguing over what time we

  should’ve left, and Dad almost missed the exit for

  the airport. He had to cut across three lanes of

  traffic, which didn’t look easy.

  When we reached the airport, the main parking

  lot was full. That meant we had to park in the

  economy lot, which was pretty far away. Dad said

  he’d drop the rest of us off at the curb with all

  the luggage and then come meet us after he parked.

  When we got to the passenger drop-off area, it

  was COMPLETE chaos. We tried to unload our

  bags, but the cops weren’t letting anyone stop

  for more tha
n thirty seconds. And that just

  stressed everyone out and made things worse.

  10

  I had to get back in the van so I could help Dad

  with the rest of the bags. Ordinarily, that kind of

  thing would’ve been Rodrick’s job, but since he was

  dressed for eighty-degree weather, he got out of it.

  He was lucky he DID, too. When we got to the

  gate for the economy lot, Dad couldn’t reach the

  ticket from his window. So he made me get out of

  the car to grab it.

  Unfortunately, I didn’t notice that there was a

  giant slush puddle on my side of the car until it

  was too late.

  After we parked, we rolled our bags to the

  nearest shuttle stop, which wasn’t a lot of fun.

  11

  The sign said the shuttle bus to the main terminal

  came every ten minutes. But there was no room for

  us in the bus shelter, so we had to wait outside in

  the freezing cold.

  Twenty minutes went by without a bus, and Dad

  started getting really anxious about the time. He

  said we were just gonna have to WALK to the

  terminal, which was about a mile away.

  12

  I would’ve tried to convince Dad to wait a little

  longer, but my sock was starting to turn to ice,

  and I didn’t wanna get frostbite.

  Sure enough, once we got about a hundred feet

  from the shelter, the shuttle bus pulled into the

  parking lot. We tried to get the driver to stop,

  but he just blew right by us.

  So we RAN to the shuttle stop, but we didn’t

  make it back in time.

  Now Dad was really worried about missing our

  flight. I told him maybe missing the flight

  wouldn’t be the WORST thing to happen, but he

  didn’t seem to be in the mood to hear what I had

  to say.

  By the time we got to the terminal, we were

  both soaking wet and miserable. So when a pickup

  truck almost hit us in the crosswalk, it made Dad

  REALLY mad, and he let the driver know.

  That just made the DRIVER mad, and he pulled

  his truck over and stepped out of his vehicle.

  15

  We didn’t stick around long enough to talk

  things over with this guy. We ran in the

  opposite direction and blended in with some people

  standing on the sidewalk until the coast was clear.

  Dad told me I could learn a lesson from this, which

  was to never lose your temper and do something

  stupid. But I took away a DIFFERENT lesson—

  when Heffleys get in trouble, Heffleys RUN.

  The rest of the family was waiting inside the

  entrance to the terminal. Mom wanted to know

  what took us so long, and Dad wanted to know

  why she hadn’t gotten in line with Manny and

  Rodrick and held a place for us.

  16

  It took twenty minutes for us to get through

  the check-in line. But when Dad put our big

  suitcase on the scale, the person at the counter

  said it was too heavy, and it was gonna cost extra

  money to check it.

  But Dad said the airline was ripping us off and

  we weren’t gonna give them an extra NICKEL.

  So we took some clothes out of the suitcase and

  stuffed them into our carry-on bags.

  By the time we got everything sorted out, we

  had a half hour to get to our gate before our

  flight started boarding. And when we got to the

  security area, it was a total ZOO.

  There were two lines—one for families and one for

  business travelers.

  I guess Dad usually gets to go through the

  business lane when he travels for work, so he

  didn’t seem to be too happy about being stuck

  with the rest of us in the family lane.

  18

  Anytime you add the word “family” to something,

  you know things are gonna be bad. And trust

  me, I’ve been to enough family restaurants to

  know what I’m talking about.

  We waited in the security line a long time, and we

  finally made it to the front. But then some kid a

  few rows behind us started pressing the buttons

  on the poles that hold the barriers together.

  All of a sudden, there was nothing keeping the

  lines separated, and for a second, no one moved.

  But then things COMPLETELY fell apart.

  20

  By the time the security agents got all the zip

  barriers reconnected, we ended up at the BACK

  of the line. And the family with the kid who caused

  all the trouble was at the FRONT.

  Now Mom and Dad were REALLY stressed,

  because our flight was supposed to leave at any

  minute. Dad begged one of the security agents

  to let us go to the front, but he didn’t seem

  too sympathetic.

  I thought we were going to miss our flight, so I

  didn’t really see the point of going through security.

  But Dad said sometimes they leave the gate open

  until the last second, and we might still make it.

  21

  We finally got to the front of the line, and we put

  our bags on a conveyor belt. Then we took off our

  coats and shoes and put them into some plastic bins.

  Manny saw what the rest of us were doing, and

  he started taking off HIS clothes, too. Luckily,

  Mom noticed in time and stopped him before he

  could go any further.

  22

  Manny wasn’t finished causing problems, though.

  Apparently, he thought the conveyor belt was

  some kind of RIDE, and he was really upset when

  he found out that it WASN’T.