Cabin Fever (Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Book 6) Read online

  I’m very excited that you’re holding the Kindle edition of

  Diary of a Wimpy Kid in your hands.

  When I read my first e-book on a Kindle, I was amazed at

  the possibilities. Carrying a whole library around with me on a

  device I could fit in the palm of my hand? Amazing.

  What’s been very rewarding to me as an author has been

  seeing kids carrying their dog-eared copies of Diary of a

  Wimpy Kid with them. The Kindle allows kids to have the

  whole series at their fingertips, and the reading experience

  is crisp and clean every time . . . with no chance of today's

  breakfast staining the pages.

  Thank you for purchasing Diary of a Wimpy Kid on your

  Kindle. I hope it gives you lots of laughs and you have as

  much fun reading it as I did writing it.

  Jeff Kinney

  NOVEMBER

  Saturday

  Most people look forward to the holidays, but the

  stretch between Thanksgiving and Christmas just

  makes me a nervous wreck. If you make a mistake

  in the first eleven months of the year, it’s no big

  deal. But if you do something wrong during the

  holiday season, you’re gonna pay for it.

  It’s too much pressure to be on your best behavior

  for a whole month. The most I can really handle

  is six or seven days in a row. So if they moved

  Thanksgiving to the week before Christmas, it

  would be fine by me.

  maybe you would’ve

  gotten more

  presents if you

  hadn’t pinched your

  brother last week!

  Kids whose families don’t celebrate Christmas

  are lucky because they don’t have to stress out

  whenever they do something wrong at this time

  of year. In fact, I have a few friends in that

  category who I think act a little extra jerky

  around now just because they can.

  The thing that REALLY makes me nervous is this

  whole Santa issue. The fact that he can see you

  when you’re sleeping and knows when you’re awake

  really creeps me out. So I’ve started wearing

  sweatpants to bed because I really don’t need

  Santa seeing me in my underwear.

  oops!

  trip

  2

  I’m not really convinced that Santa has the time to

  keep an eye on you twenty-four hours a day anyway.

  I figure he can only check in on each kid once or

  twice a year for a few seconds—and with my luck,

  that happens at the most embarrassing moments.

  If Santa really DOES see everything you do,

  then I could be in trouble. So when I write him,

  I don’t say what I want for Christmas and all

  that. I use my letters to paint myself in the best

  possible light.

  that’s

  disgusting!

  Dear Santa,

  I did not throw a crab apple

  at Mrs. Taylor’s cat, even

  though it might’ve looked

  that way from a distance.

  Sincerely,

  Greg Heffley

  3

  Then there’s this “Naughty or Nice” list they’re

  always talking about. You hear about it, but

  you never actually get to SEE it, so it’s up to

  grown-ups to tell you where you stand at any

  given moment. And something about that just

  doesn’t seem right.

  I kind of wonder how accurate the list really is

  anyway. There’s a kid named Jared Pyle who lives

  up the street from me, and if there’s ANYONE

  who deserves to be on the “Naughty” list,

  it’s him. But last year he got a dirt bike for

  Christmas, so don’t even ask me WHAT Santa was

  thinking on THAT one.

  if you help me with these

  groceries i’ll bet it

  will be just enough to

  make santa’s “nice” list!

  4

  It’s not just Santa I’ve got to worry about,

  either. Last year when Mom was going through

  some old boxes, she found a homemade doll from

  her childhood.

  Mom said the doll is called “Santa’s Scout” and

  that his job is to watch how kids behave and then

  report back to Santa at the North Pole.

  From Santa

  5

  Well, I’m not a fan of that idea. First of all, I

  think you have a right to privacy in your own home.

  And second, Santa’s Scout gives me the willies.

  I don’t really buy the idea that this doll is

  feeding Santa information, but just in case, I

  try to be extra good whenever I’m in the same

  room as Santa’s Scout.

  shudder

  shudder

  may i clear

  everyone’s

  plates?

  why, how

  thoughtful

  of you!

  6

  But it probably doesn’t matter anyway, because

  my older brother, Rodrick, is constantly feeding

  Santa’s Scout bad information about me.

  Every morning when I wake up, Santa’s Scout is in

  a new place, which I guess is supposed to prove that

  he traveled to the North Pole overnight. But I’m

  starting to wonder if it’s really Rodrick who moves him.

  i, greg heffley,

  took a twenty-

  dollar bill out of

  my mother’s purse.

  scream!!!

  yank

  chips

  7

  Sunday

  Today we took all our Christmas decorations out

  of the storage room in the basement. We have

  boxes full of ornaments, and some of them are

  pretty old. There’s one with a picture of me and

  Rodrick taking a bath in the sink that’s really

  embarrassing, but Mom won’t let me throw it out.

  We put up the tree in the living room and started

  hanging ornaments on it. My little brother,

  Manny, was taking a nap upstairs, and when he

  woke up and found out we were decorating the

  tree without him, he had a total meltdown.

  8

  The reason Manny was so upset was because

  someone hung his favorite ornament, this candy

  cane he really likes. So Mom took it off the tree

  and handed it to Manny to hang up himself.

  But Manny wanted his ornament to be the

  FIRST one on the tree, so that meant we had

  to take all the decorations down, just so he could

  get his way.

  sniff

  9

  And that’s just the kind of thing that happens

  in my house every single day.

  Mom hasn’t started to use the threat of Santa

  as a way of getting Manny to behave, but I’m

  sure she will soon. I don’t think it’s such a good

  strategy for keeping us in line, though. Because

  the second Christmas is over, Mom doesn’t have

  any real leverage.

  xmas />
  well! the easter

  bunny is going to be

  very disappointed

  in you boys!

  10

  Monday

  Right before Thanksgiving break, there was a

  contest at school to see who could come up with

  the best anti-bullying slogan, and the grand prize

  was a pizza party for the winning team.

  Everyone wanted that pizza party, and people

  didn’t care WHAT they had to do to win it. Two

  groups of girls in my grade came up with slogans

  that were really similar, and each group accused

  the other one of stealing their idea.

  Only you

  can stop

  bullying!

  Form a team of up to five pepole and

  come up with the best anti-bullying

  slogan. The winning team will get a

  pizza party in the cafeteria!

  Let’s make bullying extinct!

  bullies

  are

  mean

  bullies are

  meanies

  11

  The whole situation spun out of control, and

  eventually the vice principal had to step in to stop

  it from turning into a full-scale riot.

  Our school only has one legitimate bully this year

  anyway, and his name is Dennis Root. And with

  all the signs and posters everywhere, I’m pretty

  sure the message is getting through to him.

  bullies are

  meanies

  bulldoze bullying

  no

  bully

  zone

  stop

  bullying

  now

  12

  The day before Thanksgiving there was a big

  anti-bullying assembly, and everyone in the

  auditorium was looking at Dennis the whole time.

  I kind of felt sorry for him, so I tried to make

  him feel better.

  Even though Dennis is the only real bully in our

  school this year, we had a BUNCH of them

  LAST year. People were constantly getting picked

  on at recess, so the teachers set up a station on

  the playground where kids could press a button if

  they needed to get a grown-up’s attention.

  tell-a-teacher

  station

  Pat

  pat

  13

  Well, the Tell-a-Teacher station just ended up

  being a convenient place for the bullies to hang

  out and find their next victims.

  The teachers say TEASING counts as bullying,

  too, but I don’t think there’s any way they’re

  gonna put a stop to THAT. Kids are always

  calling each other names and that kind of thing

  at my school. In fact, one of the reasons I try

  to stay under the radar is because I don’t want

  to end up getting stuck with a nickname like

  Cody Johnson did.

  In kindergarten Cody stepped in some dog poop

  at recess, and ever since then people have called

  him “Dookie.”

  raaah!!!

  shrieeek!!!

  tell-a-teacher

  station

  14

  And I’m not just talking about the kids, either.

  I’m talking about the teachers and even the

  PRINCIPAL.

  I’ll tell you this: If I ever get a nickname like

  Dookie, I’ll move to a different town.

  whup!

  ha

  ha!

  squish

  congratulations to

  dookie johnson for

  getting straight a’s in

  the third quarter!

  15

  But what would probably happen is that someone

  from my OLD school would move to my new town

  and the whole thing would just start back up again.

  The teachers always say that when you’re getting

  picked on, you should tell an adult. I think that’s

  a good idea, but it didn’t work out so well when I

  was getting bullied.

  hey!

  dookie!

  There was this kid who lived in the neighborhood

  next to mine, and for some reason everyone called

  him “Nasty Pants.”

  16

  Every time me and my friend Rowley went

  through Nasty Pants’s neighborhood, he chased us

  with a stick.

  The thing that really stunk was that me and

  Rowley used the woods in that neighborhood as a

  shortcut to get to school. So we started having

  to go out of our way to avoid getting harassed by

  Nasty Pants.

  raaaah!

  17

  We did EXACTLY what the teachers are always

  telling us to do, and complained to the vice

  principal. But Vice Principal Roy said that since

  Nasty Pants didn’t go to our school, there was

  nothing he could really do about it.

  After getting chased a few more times, I

  decided I’d had enough, so I told Dad about

  the situation. I was afraid Dad was gonna say I

  needed to toughen up and deal with the problem

  myself, but he surprised me. Dad said that HE

  had problems with a bully at my age and he knew

  just what I was going through.

  mr. roy

  18

  Dad’s bully was named Billy Staples, and Billy’s

  favorite thing to do was pin a kid’s arm behind his

  back and hold it there until he cried.

  Dad said that the kids in the neighborhood

  told their parents about Billy and they all went

  to Billy’s house to confront his mom and dad.

  Mr. Staples made Billy promise to never pick on

  anyone ever again, and Dad said Billy burst into

  tears and might have even wet his pants.

  yaaar!!!

  squeal!

  twist

  sniff

  19

  Well, after hearing that story, I don’t think Billy

  Staples would’ve been any match for Nasty Pants.

  But I told Dad I liked the idea of complaining to

  the bully’s parents. I called up Rowley and told

  him to come over and to bring his dad, because we

  needed as much backup as we could get.

  Dad knocked on Nasty Pants’s door, and we

  waited for one of his parents to open it.

  knock

  knock

  knock

  20

  But Nasty Pants HIMSELF came to the door,

  and me and Rowley took off.

  I guess I should’ve described Nasty Pants to

  Dad, because it took him a while to understand

  that the kid who came to the door was the one

  who was causing us all that trouble.

  Dad talked to Mrs. Pants, and she told Dad her

  son was only five and that he just gets a little

  wound up sometimes.

  raaaah!

  you smell

  like a dirty

  diaper. p.u.!

  21

  On the way home, Dad was pretty mad at me for

  letting myself get bullied by a kid who was still in

  kindergarten. But let me just say in my defense

  that when some kid is chasing you with a stick,

  you don’t stop to ask him how old he is.

  Tuesday

  They took the last piece of playground equipment

  away at school today. We started off the year

  with all sorts of things, lik
e monkey bars and

  swings and stuff, but now the playground is an

  empty sawdust pit.

  So recess is basically like a prison yard.

  22

  I heard the school was having trouble paying

  the insurance for the playground, so every time

  there was some kind of accident or injury on a

  piece of equipment, the easiest thing to do was

  just remove it.

  In October, Francis Knott went flying off the

  swing set and landed on the seesaw, so that took

  out two big items right there.

  We lost the monkey bars when a girl named

  Christine Higgins climbed to the top and then got

  too scared to come down.

  Waaugh!

  23

  The teachers aren’t allowed to touch kids, so

  they had to call Christine’s parents to come and

  get her.

  Eventually the only piece of equipment left was

  the balance beam, and I figured nobody could get

  hurt on THAT thing. But believe it or not, some

  idiot wasn’t looking where he was going the other

  day, so now that’s gone, too.

  gaaah!

  trip

  24

  Without any playground equipment, there’s really

  nothing for us to do. But the teachers won’t

  even let us sit down, because they say we have to

  stay “active.”

  And it’s not like you’re allowed to bring in toys

  or video games to keep yourself occupied, either.

  In fact, if you get caught with a toy on the

  playground, it’ll get confiscated. Last week

  somebody found a miniature car buried in the sawdust

  that looked like it had been there for years.

  hey!

  25

  The car had three missing wheels, but people were

  so desperate for entertainment that they lined up

  to play with it while others kept lookout.

  Now there’s a black market for toys at our school.

  Christopher Stangel brought in a bunch of Legos

  from home yesterday, and I hear a single brick will

  set you back fifty cents.

  The teachers have banned a bunch of games we

  used to play, too. Last week a group of boys were