Rowley Jefferson's Awesome Friendly Adventure Read online

  wearing Bampy’s armor, he was still

  kind of scared to leave his village all by

  himself.

  So Roland went to see if his friend Garg

  the Barbarian wanted to come WITH him.

  24

  Roland met Garg when they were both little

  kids and ever since then they have been

  Since Garg was a barbarian he was

  always using his muscles to smash things.

  And that’s why Roland’s parents didn’t let

  Garg come to their house for sleepovers.

  25

  Garg’s parents didn’t make him read

  books or play the flute so mostly Garg

  just worked out in his garage. And

  sometimes Roland worked out WITH him.

  Since Garg didn’t read a lot of books he

  didn’t know that many words. But Roland

  always understood him anyway.

  26

  Roland told Garg that the White Warlock

  kidnapped his mom and that he needed

  some help RESCUING her. And Garg didn’t

  even ask his parents for permission to go

  because they never really cared what he

  did anyway.

  But before Roland and Garg could leave

  for their trip they needed to go to the

  village shop and get some SUPPLIES.

  Roland used his allowance to buy a bunch

  of food and torches and camping stuff.

  Then Garg picked out some things HE

  wanted to bring on the trip.

  27

  Roland asked Garg to chip in but as usual

  Garg didn’t have any money.

  The guy at the shop said Garg was going

  to need some armor if they were going on

  a dangerous journey but Roland explained

  that Garg doesn’t wear a lot of clothes

  because he likes to show off his muscles.

  Roland used his last gold coins to pay for

  a map of the world outside the village.

  And even though Roland was nervous

  about leaving the village that he’d lived in

  his whole life he was pretty excited too.

  30

  As soon as I was done with Chapter Two

  I brought it to Greg's house so he could

  read it. I was a little worried that he

  wasn't gonna like Roland's best friend but

  he thought Garg was GREAT.

  Greg said Garg would make an awesome

  action figure who could say different

  phrases when you pressed down on his head.

  31

  I said maybe Roland could be an action

  figure TOO but Greg said no one would

  buy a Roland toy because he's just a

  regular kid and he doesn't really do a lot.

  Then I said maybe Roland could be a

  young WIZARD who has a wand and casts

  spells. But Greg said I needed to come up

  with something BETTER because no one

  would read a book about a boy wizard.

  32

  Greg said Roland needed to be TOUGH

  like Garg. He said boys would like Garg

  but girls would be in LOVE with him

  and they'd put Garg posters in their

  bedrooms.

  Then Greg said when they make the

  MOVIE they'll have to bring in bodybuilders

  to try out for the part of Garg.

  33

  I said maybe girls would put posters of

  ROLAND up in their bedrooms too. And

  Greg said yeah maybe after Roland hits

  puberty and gets braces.

  Greg told me once I finish this book I

  should write a PREQUEL where Garg is a

  BABY. And that way we could sell dolls and

  make millions of dollars.

  34

  But what Greg was MOST excited

  about was the MAP. He said it was great

  that there were a ton of different

  environments because that meant we

  could get kids to buy the same action

  figures a bunch of times.

  35

  And Greg said we could sell all sorts of

  playsets for the action figures because

  that's where the REAL money is.

  He said his only problem with the map

  is that it doesn't make a whole lot of

  SENSE. He said I can't have a desert right

  next to a place that's snowy because

  that's not the way things work in real life.

  Plus he said there were some things I

  was gonna have to fix like the river that

  went in a CIRCLE since that's not even

  physically possible.

  36

  But I said it was a LAZY river and

  it's MAGIC. And I told him my story is

  FANTASY so it doesn't HAVE to make

  sense anyway.

  Greg said if this is supposed to be

  fantasy then I can't have REAL places

  on the map like the North Pole.

  But I told him I put the North Pole on

  there because I'm hoping Roland and Garg

  might get to visit Santa Claus at his

  workshop.

  37

  Greg said if I put Santa Claus in the

  story he was gonna QUIT.

  Then Greg told me he didn't really CARE

  what was on the map as long as the

  next chapter's not just about Garg and

  Roland SHOPPING. And I told Greg not

  to worry because now the adventure is

  about to start for REAL.

  But hopefully Roland and Garg get to

  meet Santa somewhere on their journey

  because that would be pretty cool.

  CHAPTER 3

  39

  Roland and Garg left their village behind

  and started out on their adventure.

  On the first day they walked for miles and

  miles. Garg’s feet were as tough as leather

  so all that walking didn’t bother him.

  But Roland’s feet were soft and tender

  from spending most of his time indoors

  and he got a blister on his heel after a

  few hours and needed Garg to carry him.

  That night Garg and Roland pitched their

  tents and sat by the campfire.

  40

  Whenever Roland got a blister or a

  splinter back home his mom always made

  him feel better. And thinking about his

  mom made Roland very sad.

  The next morning Roland and Garg came

  to a village that was just like theirs.

  But the road was blocked by boulders

  because there was an avalanche the night

  before. Roland offered to help clear the

  road and the villagers said “Sure.”

  41

  So Garg and Roland spent the rest of the

  day moving heavy rocks which wasn’t as

  easy as Roland thought it would be.

  That night the villagers gave Roland and

  Garg a hot meal and soft beds to sleep

  in. And in the morning Roland and Garg

  packed up their things so they could get

  back on the road.

  But the villagers told Roland and Garg

  there was something ELSE they needed

  help with before they headed out.

  42

  The villagers said the stables were a total

  mess because nobody had cleaned them in

  YEARS.

  So they asked Roland and Garg if they

  could tidy the place up a little bit. And

  that was hard work too.

>   It took a lot longer than Roland expected

  and by the time they were done it was

  nighttime again. And Roland and Garg

  slept very well that night because all the

  cleaning had totally wiped them out.

  43

  But by the morning the villagers had a

  whole LIST of things for them to do. And

  since Roland liked to be helpful him and

  Garg stuck around for another day.

  Sometimes the villagers asked Roland

  and Garg to do stuff that Roland thought

  the villagers should’ve been able to do

  THEMSELVES.

  44

  But whenever Roland mentioned that to

  the villagers they always said the same

  thing.

  And even after Roland TAUGHT them

  how to do something they STILL didn’t

  get it. But if you’re thinking “Gosh

  those villagers were pretty dumb” well

  remember this is back before schools were

  invented so there were a LOT of things

  people didn’t know.

  Even though Roland really wanted to get

  going he stayed and kept helping out in

  the village because he knew that would

  make his mom proud.

  ef

  45

  This was my favorite chapter YET. I

  told Greg that parents would probably

  like reading this story to their KIDS

  because Roland was such a good role

  model for young people.

  But Greg said kids would think Roland

  was a SUCKER for doing all the villagers'

  work FOR them.

  I said Roland isn't a sucker he just likes

  being HELPFUL. And Greg said if Roland

  helps every person he meets on his

  journey then this book is gonna be like a

  thousand pages long.

  I told Greg that Roland ALWAYS helps

  people in need because that's how his

  parents RAISED him.

  And Greg said well if Superman helped

  everyone who ASKED he'd never be able

  to RELAX.

  47

  Greg said maybe Roland and Garg should

  get off the main road for a while so

  they don't run into any more villagers

  who needed their help.

  He said this book is supposed to be an

  ADVENTURE but right now it's just two

  guys doing a bunch of CHORES.

  Then Greg said if this story's gonna be

  any GOOD I was gonna have to put some

  MONSTERS in it.

  I said well I don't know about MONSTERS

  but maybe there could be unicorns or

  pixies or tree elves.

  Greg said there's no such THING as tree

  elves but I'm pretty sure there ARE

  because one time me and my dad spotted

  one during a backyard campout.

  49

  When I asked Greg how he's so SURE

  there's no such thing as tree elves he

  said the same thing he ALWAYS says to

  win an argument.

  Greg said if I'm gonna put PIXIES in the

  story then there should be TROLLS too

  because trolls EAT pixies.

  I told Greg that was disgusting but he

  said it's just the Circle of Life and I

  needed to grow up.

  CHAPTER 4

  51

  The villagers kept adding stuff to the list

  of things they needed help with but after

  a week Roland told them that him and

  Garg really needed to get going so they

  could save his mom.

  And the villagers said OK but after you

  guys rescue Roland’s mom maybe you can

  all come BACK and then she can help out

  TOO. So Roland promised he’d talk to his

  mom about that after he saved her and he

  said good-bye to his new friends.

  Then Roland and Garg left the village

  and took a shortcut through the Tangled

  Forest.

  52

  Roland was nervous about leaving the

  main road behind and going into the

  wilderness. The trees in the Tangled

  Forest were scary and it was super

  spooky in the dark woods.

  And Roland knew there was probably

  no such thing as tree elves but he kept

  checking for them anyway.

  The farther Roland and Garg went into

  the woods the scarier it got. But before

  long they came to a clearing and were in a

  beautiful enchanted pixie village.

  53

  The pixies welcomed Garg and Roland to

  their village and brought them bowls of

  wild mushroom soup. And even though

  Roland didn’t really like mushrooms he

  ate most of his soup anyway because he

  didn’t want to be rude.

  54

  Roland told the pixies their village was

  beautiful and they said yeah that’s

  because we live in harmony with nature

  and we don’t have garbage piled up

  everywhere like those filthy trolls.

  And when Roland said it wasn’t NICE to

  call someone filthy the pixies said yeah

  well wait till you MEET them.

  The pixies asked Roland and Garg what

  they were doing in the forest and Roland

  said they were taking a shortcut to rescue

  his mom from the White Warlock.

  55

  So the pixies told Roland they were sorry

  to hear about his mom but if him and Garg

  were going to defeat the White Warlock

  they’d need WEAPONS.