Cabin Fever (Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Book 6) Read online

  we stepped out the sliding glass door.

  Each of us had to walk into the woods and write

  our name on the tree fort we built last summer.

  And whoever chickened out was wrong about

  volleyball and had to call the other guy “sir” for

  the rest of his life.

  53

  Rowley seemed to think that was a fair deal.

  I told Rowley I’d go first, and I walked into

  the woods. But as soon as I knew he couldn’t see

  me, I ran around to the front of my house.

  zip

  There’s no way I was gonna go into those

  woods by myself at night. I had written my name

  on the tree fort when me and Rowley built it over

  the summer, and that’s the reason I came up

  with the dare.

  54

  Greg

  I walked in the front door, made a bowl of ice

  cream, and relaxed for a while. And I have to

  say, some time to myself was just what I needed.

  aahh!

  55

  Once I finished my ice cream, I walked around

  the side of the house, rubbed some dirt on my face

  and clothes, then came running out of the woods.

  there was a big dog or

  a bear or something

  back there, but

  luckily i outran it!

  I probably shouldn’t have added that last part,

  because Rowley totally gave up on the dare after that.

  can we please go

  inside now, “sir”?

  56

  Anyway, that break was just what the doctor

  ordered, and the rest of the night was

  argument-free.

  shudder

  shudder

  This morning my family headed to church, and

  Rowley came with us. I don’t think Rowley’s

  family really goes to church that much, so he’s

  not used to all the rules about what you’re

  supposed to do and when. So I always have to

  tell him when you need to kneel and stand and

  all that.

  Toward the end we all did the “Peace be with you”

  part, where you’re supposed to shake everyone’s

  hand. I said “Peace be with you” to Rowley, but

  he started giggling.

  57

  I think he must’ve thought I said “Peas be with

  you,” like the vegetable.

  peace

  be with

  you.

  no, peas

  be with

  you! hee

  hee hee!

  shake

  shake

  I don’t think Rowley totally understood that

  you’re just supposed to shake hands with people,

  either, because when the woman in the pew behind

  us said “Peace be with you,” Rowley gave her a big

  wet kiss on the cheek.

  smooch

  After church we dropped Rowley off at his house,

  and I was glad he was gone and that I could go

  back to playing my game.

  58

  And something tells me Mom felt the same way.

  peas be

  with you.

  hee hee hee!

  DECEMBER

  Tuesday

  Today I was playing Net Kritterz in my room,

  and Mom walked in. She watched for a while, then

  asked what I was doing in the game. I explained

  that I was watching my Chihuahua watch TV,

  because if your virtual pet watches at least two

  hours of commercials a day, it makes him happy and

  you get twenty bonus tokens.

  59

  Then I asked Mom if she wouldn’t mind spotting

  me ten bucks because the Net Kritterz store

  just started carrying trampoline shoes and I was

  pretty sure Gregory’s Little Friend would really

  like to have them.

  But I guess I picked the wrong time to ask Mom

  for a loan, because it seemed like she was in a bad

  mood. She said I didn’t have any appreciation for

  the “value of money” and that if I wanted to pay

  for my Net Kritterz “habit,” it was gonna have

  to come out of my own pocket.

  I told Mom I didn’t have any money of my own

  and that’s why I kept hitting up her and Dad.

  But she said there were plenty of things I

  could do to earn some. She said it’s supposed to

  snow tonight and I could go out and shovel our

  neighbors’ driveways tomorrow.

  60

  I really don’t feel comfortable knocking on

  doors and asking our neighbors for money. My

  school has three fundraisers a year, and I have

  to go from house to house begging people I

  hardly know to buy something from me.

  And half the time I don’t even really know what

  it is I’m selling.

  hello, mr. kappler.

  would you like to

  purchase some hardy

  geranium bules?

  I wish the school would give us something useful

  to sell, like candy bars or cookies. The Girl Scouts

  are lucky, because at least they get to sell stuff

  people actually want.

  61

  The way the system works with these fundraisers

  is that us students do all the work and the

  school gives us these junky prizes as rewards.

  One time I sold twenty dollars’ worth of gourmet

  coffee beans, and all I got was a cheap yo-yo

  that broke before I even got off school property.

  what

  the—?

  snap

  boink

  But Rowley really got stiffed. He sold $150

  worth of beans and got a Chinese finger trap as

  his prize. It actually worked like it was supposed

  to, but Rowley couldn’t get his fingers out, and

  his mom had to cut it off when he got home.

  snip

  62

  Last year the school tried something different.

  They had us sell raffle tickets, and whoever won

  the raffle would get a spring yard cleanup from

  the seventh-grade class.

  Mrs. Spangler, who lives down the street from

  me, won the raffle, and on the first day of

  spring the whole seventh grade showed up at her

  house. But there were only two rakes for all those

  kids, so most of the class just ended up sitting

  around with nothing to do.

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  And by the time the “spring cleanup” was done, Mrs.

  Spangler’s yard was worse off than when it started.

  The new thing the school is doing is these

  Walkathons. The idea is that we’ll walk around

  the track at school a certain number of times, like

  one hundred or two hundred laps, and get our

  neighbors to sponsor us for each lap we complete.

  walkathon

  Sponsor Sheet

  $0.25/lap

  Name

  # of laps

  Deorgette Kramer

  Tony Sinclair

  Henry Nielson

  Leslie Simpson

  Barbara Preston

  Lavar Collison

  64

  I can understand asking someone to pay for seeds

  or coffee beans or whatever, but I don’t know

  what kind of person gets pleasure out of having

  some kid walk around a football field a coupl
e

  hundred times.

  The reason the school put on the Walkathon in

  September was so they could pay for a billboard

  near the town park.

  keep the town

  park clean

  65

  I couldn’t figure out why the school didn’t

  just skip the Walkathon and have the kids

  clean up the town park instead. But I guess if

  the seventh grade was involved, they might’ve

  completely trashed it.

  I’ve done the math, and I’ve figured out

  that each grown-up on my street gives me an

  average of twenty-three dollars a year for school

  fundraisers.

  So I should just invite all the neighbors to my

  house once a year and tell them to bring me the

  twenty-three bucks in cash, because it sure would

  save everyone a lot of pain and anguish.

  66

  Wednesday

  It snowed last night just like Mom said it would,

  and while all the other kids in the neighborhood

  were enjoying their day off from school, I was

  pounding the pavement looking for work.

  I thought about whose door I should knock

  on first, but it wasn’t easy. Mrs. Durocher lives

  right across the street, but she’s a little too

  affectionate, and I usually do my best to avoid her.

  how about

  a hug,

  gregory?

  did somebody

  just drop

  this pebble?

  67

  Then there’s Mr. Alexander, who moved into the

  Snellas’ house. He must not have worn braces as

  a kid, because his teeth aren’t very straight.

  Unfortunately, the first time Dad met Mr. Alexander

  was on Halloween, and Dad must’ve thought his

  teeth weren’t real.

  ha ha! those

  teeth are

  hilarious!

  So I decided to skip Mr. Alexander’s house, too.

  There are people who live on my street that I

  haven’t spoken to in years. When I was about

  four, Mom and Dad had a cocktail party for some

  of the couples in the neighborhood, and I went

  downstairs during the party to use the bathroom.

  68

  But I guess back then I didn’t know you were

  supposed to keep the door locked, so Mr. Harkin

  walked right in on me.

  When I was done I found Mom and told on

  Mr. Harkin, and I’m sure he felt like a jerk.

  So I’m not about to knock on the door of some

  guy I ratted out when I was in preschool and ask

  him for money, either.

  oops! sorry

  ’bout that,

  buddy!

  69

  Today I realized there’s just too much history

  between me and the people in my neighborhood, so

  I decided to go one street over to Prentice Lane

  and start fresh.

  I walked up to the house on the corner and

  knocked on the door. But I recognized the lady

  who answered. She was Mrs. Melcher, one of

  Gramma’s friends from Bingo.

  I told Mrs. Melcher I was trying to earn a

  little money shoveling people’s driveways and that

  I’d be happy to do hers for five bucks.

  70

  But she told me she never gets visitors and

  invited me inside to chat.

  I didn’t want to be rude, so the next thing I

  knew I was sitting in Mrs. Melcher’s living room

  surrounded by the lawn ornaments she took inside

  for the winter. I felt a little uncomfortable, but

  I figured if I was gonna ask someone for money

  the least I could do was try and be polite.

  But all I could think about the whole time I

  sat there was how much money I could’ve been

  making if I’d just knocked on someone else’s

  door instead.

  71

  I must’ve been in there for an hour before I

  was finally able to steer the conversation back

  to the subject of me shoveling her driveway.

  But Mrs. Melcher said her son was coming by in

  his pickup truck any minute and he plows her

  driveway for free. So that’s an hour of my life

  I’ll never get back.

  rumble

  scrape

  I headed back out onto Prentice Lane and

  started knocking on doors. I guess most people

  were at work, so it took me a while to find

  someone who was actually home. I finally got lucky

  when a guy who looked like he just woke up came

  to the door. I told him I’d shovel his driveway

  for five bucks, and he said it was a deal.

  72

  I got to work and was making pretty good

  progress. But it started snowing again while I

  was shoveling.

  By the time I finished, it had snowed so much

  that you could barely tell I did any work.

  73

  So I rang the doorbell and asked the guy if

  he wanted me to shovel his driveway again for

  another five bucks. But he wouldn’t go for it.

  And to make things worse, the guy said he

  wasn’t gonna pay me the first five bucks until his

  driveway was clear like I promised. See, this is

  why it’s a good idea to have a contract before you

  start working for someone.

  I got back out there and started shoveling, but so

  much snow was falling that I was getting nowhere.

  (pant,

  pant)

  74

  Then I had an idea. Gramma’s house was only a

  few streets away, and I remembered that she

  keeps her lawn mower in the garage. So I walked

  over to her place and pushed the mower back to

  the driveway I was working on.

  I thought the snow-mowing idea was genius,

  and I couldn’t believe no one had ever thought

  of it before.

  Unfortunately, it didn’t go as smoothly as I

  hoped it would. I thought the snow would shoot

  out of the side, but the blade cut right through

  it and the snow stayed where it was.

  rrrrrrrrrr

  Eventually the mower started making funny

  sounds, and then all of a sudden it stopped.

  75

  So I guess those things aren’t really built for

  cold weather.

  rattle

  shudder

  I pushed the mower to Gramma’s and put it back

  in her garage. Hopefully it will thaw out before

  the summer rolls around.

  I still had this guy’s driveway to deal with, but

  now the snow was REALLY coming down, and

  there was no way I was gonna spend the rest of

  my day working for five bucks. I needed a quick

  solution so I could move on.

  I could see that his garden hose was attached to

  the house, so I turned it on, put the nozzle to

  the “shower” setting, and sprayed down the snow

  in the driveway.

  76

  It was GREAT. The water melted the snow

  on contact, and I was cruising. Then I saw a

  sprinkler leaning up against the house, and I got

  an even BETTER idea.

  Once I was finished, I turned off the sprinkler

  and knocked on the guy’s door. He
paid me my five

  bucks when he saw that his driveway was cleared.

  77

  I was pretty excited about the way things

  worked out, and I figured if I found some more

  people with sprinklers, I could have multiple jobs

  going at once.

  Unfortunately, I couldn’t find anyone else who

  was home. But my idea probably wouldn’t have

  worked out anyway. Because by the time I

  walked back down Prentice Lane, the driveway I

  hit with the sprinkler was frozen over.

  waaaugh!

  slide

  When Dad got home, we had to go out and buy five

  big bags of rock salt to melt the guy’s driveway.

  78

  So now instead of having money in my pocket for

  all my hard work, I’m twenty bucks in the hole.

  shake

  shake

  crackle

  pop

  Thursday

  Dad wasn’t too happy that I turned somebody’s

  driveway into an ice-skating rink yesterday, and

  he said he was disappointed in me for using “poor

  judgment.” That’s the exact same phrase he used a

  few weeks ago when I scratched up his car.

  It all started when I won Student of the Week

  at school. When you win Student of the Week,

  they give you a bumper sticker that you can put

  on your family’s car.

  79

  The bumper sticker is pretty corny, but it was

  still cool to win it.

  My child is the

  STUDENT OF THE WEEK

  and I’m MIGHTY PROUD!

  I’m not sure why I won, but I think they

  just give it to everyone eventually. Fregley won

  Student of the Week this past Friday, and I’m

  guessing it was for not biting anyone for five

  days straight.

  Mom wanted to put my sticker on her car, but

  her bumper is so overcrowded that I knew it

  would just get lost on there. So I asked Dad if

  I could put it on his car.

  80

  Dad recently bought a new car, and I thought

  my Student of the Week sticker would look really