Double Down (Diary of a Wimpy Kid Book 11) Read online

  a LEFT-handed instrument, and I’m a RIGHTY.

  I thought it would be easy with the whole three-

  button thing, but my left hand isn’t strong enough

  to work it. Plus, the mouthpiece is TINY, and

  I can’t get any air through it. So far I haven’t

  been able to squeeze out ANYTHING that sounds

  like a musical note.

  Unfortunately, that doesn’t help me with DAD.

  He wants to hear me practicing each night, like I

  promised him.

  FWEEP

  159

  Luckily, I found some video clips of a high school

  girl practicing HER French horn. So those videos

  are doing the trick, at least for now.

  This whole musical instrument thing might be a big

  waste of time, anyway. Mariana didn’t invite the

  entire band to her party tomorrow night, just the

  WOODWIND section.

  That means if you play a brass instrument like me,

  you’re out of luck. But then I realized I’ve got

  an IN. Rowley’s part of the woodwind section,

  and if HE’S going, then I can just tag along.

  I can’t just show up with him, though, or I

  could get turned away at the door.

  TWEET

  TWOOT

  TWEE

  160

  So I figured out a way to make sure that doesn’t

  happen. I realized that if I make myself part of

  Rowley’s COSTUME, then wherever he goes, I

  go, too. That’s how I came up with the idea of us

  going as a two-headed monster.

  On the walk home from school, I told Rowley all

  about my plan.

  But Rowley said he wanted to go to the party as

  a “nice witch,” and his mom was already working

  on his costume.

  See, this is EXACTLY why Rowley needs me to

  go with him.

  161

  I told Rowley if he went to a party like this

  dressed up as a witch, he’d never live it down at

  school. I think that made him kind of nervous, so

  he said he changed his mind and wanted to do the

  two-headed-monster thing I had come up with.

  So tonight we got to work making the costume out

  of some sheets I found in the linen closet. When

  Mom got home from school, I realized I should’ve

  asked permission before cutting them up. But she

  was really happy me and Rowley were MAKING

  something instead of playing video games like we

  usually do.

  I told her we were making a two-headed-monster

  costume, and she thought that was a GREAT

  idea for trick-or-treating.

  162

  I told Mom the costume was actually for Mariana

  Mendoza’s Halloween party, and as soon as I said

  it, I wished I could take it back. Like I said

  before, last year’s party was a total blowout, and

  EVERYONE in our town heard about it.

  But Mom was actually good with the idea. She said

  a party was a chance for us to “branch out” and

  grow our “friend circle.” She said she’d even be

  happy to give us a RIDE.

  I’m just relieved she didn’t suggest adding

  another head to the costume, because believe me,

  that’s EXACTLY the kind of thing she would

  think of.

  SHUDDER

  163

  Halloween

  It took a long time to get to Mariana’s house

  tonight because the street was full of little kids

  trick-or-treating.

  I was kind of GLAD we were a little late, because

  if we showed up right on time, we’d look like we

  were too eager. When we finally got to Mariana’s,

  I told Mom thanks for the ride and not to come

  back for us until the party ended at 11:00.

  But Mom turned off the ignition, got out of the

  minivan, and pulled some bags from the back.

  164

  When I asked her what she was doing, she said

  she was coming in to introduce herself to Mr. and

  Mrs. Mendoza.

  I BEGGED Mom not to, but when she decides to

  do something, there’s really no stopping her.

  She rang the doorbell, but nobody answered. We

  could hear loud music coming from the basement, so

  Mom opened the door and we all stepped inside.

  Mr. and Mrs. Mendoza were on the couch watching

  a horror movie, and they didn’t seem too interested

  in getting up and chatting with Mom.

  165

  Mom asked if she could go downstairs and check out

  the party, and they seemed totally fine with it.

  Now I was REALLY nervous. Mom opened the

  door to the basement and headed on down, and

  all me and Rowley could really do was follow. There

  were a lot of kids there already, and they looked

  like they were having a blast.

  166

  But when everyone saw Mom, they stopped what

  they were doing.

  Mom pulled a bunch of homemade Halloween games

  out of her bag, and I got a sick feeling in my

  stomach. I should’ve known what Mom was up to

  when I saw her reading the October edition of

  “Family Frolic” magazine last night.

  When Mom pulled out her party games, I figured

  everyone would just ignore her and go back to

  having fun. But then something CRAZY happened.

  Family

  Frolic

  SPOOKTASTIC

  FUN!

  HAUNTED

  HOMEMADE

  PARTY

  GAMES!

  167

  A bunch of the girls started HELPING Mom

  set up her stuff.

  From that point on Mom was running the show.

  She invited everyone at the party to play these

  corny Halloween games. I thought I might

  actually die of embarrassment, but everybody got

  into it and seemed to be having a great time.

  BONK

  168

  I think the person who was having the MOST

  fun was Rowley. His favorite game was the one

  where you eat a doughnut on a string, and he set

  the record with five in thirty seconds.

  Once I realized everyone was having a good time,

  I relaxed a little. I even played a few games

  MYSELF. Me and Rowley took first prize in

  Pin the Boo on the Ghost, and I gotta admit

  we made a pretty good team.

  CHEW

  CHEW

  A LITTLE

  TO THE

  LEFT!

  169

  In fact, we won a LOT of Mom’s games. The only

  one we stunk at was the Mini Pumpkin Toss, but I

  guess you can’t be good at EVERYTHING.

  After the games were over, somebody turned the

  music louder, and the party cranked up a notch.

  It was a little hard to pull out my best moves

  while I was attached to Rowley, but I still had

  some pretty good stuff.

  TOSS

  SPLAT

  170

  I gotta say, it was AWESOME. The only kids

  who WEREN’T having fun were the handful of

  guys who were there. But I wasn’t gonna let a

  few sour grapes spoil my good time.

  Right when the party was about to hit the

  next level, Rowley to
ld me he needed to use the

  bathroom. But when we made the costume we didn’t

  PLAN for that sort of thing.

  There wasn’t a zipper or anything like that, so

  the only way to get out of the costume was to

  cut it off. Neither one of us was wearing pants

  underneath, so THAT wasn’t happening.

  171

  I was pretty annoyed, because earlier in the

  evening I had TOLD Rowley to slow down on the

  fruit punch, and of course he hadn’t listened.

  I decided he was just gonna have to wait until

  we got home to deal with it. So I tried to go

  back to having fun, but Rowley made it kind of

  impossible for me to enjoy myself.

  I think Mom figured out what was going on from

  the look on Rowley’s face, and she said it was time

  for us to “wrap things up” and head home.

  Now I was REALLY mad. The party was in full

  swing and we had to leave because Rowley needed a

  potty break.

  WHIMPER

  WHIMPER

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  But Mom said it’s better to leave a party when it’s

  going strong than when it’s fizzling out. She said

  it makes you look COOL, because everybody will

  think you have better things to do.

  I don’t know what’s better than hanging out

  with Mariana Mendoza, but Mom was practically

  pushing me up the stairs.

  When we drove away, I was pretty miserable. But

  Mom was as happy as I’ve ever seen her.

  BYYYE MRS.

  HEFFLEY!

  HONK

  HONK

  173

  NOVEMBER

  Thursday

  All this week, Mariana and her friends have

  been saying how great the party was and how

  much fun my mom was. I don’t know how to feel

  about that, exactly, but I guess I’ll take it as

  a compliment.

  I’ve kind of lost interest in being in the band,

  though, and it’s not JUST because the party’s in

  the rearview mirror. Once we got back to school on

  Monday, the guys in the woodwind section started

  giving me a hard time.

  And it’s not just the BIG guys, either. Even

  Jake McGough’s gotten in on the act.

  MOMMA’s

  BOY!

  SHOVE

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  When I told Mom and Dad I was thinking

  of quitting the band, Dad said that wasn’t an

  option. He said my instrument cost a lot of money,

  and that I had to honor my “commitment.”

  He said I can’t just quit something because it’s

  HARD, and if there’s anything he’s gonna teach

  me, it’s PERSEVERANCE.

  I could tell Dad wasn’t gonna let it go, so I

  promised him I’d keep trying. He seemed pretty

  happy with that, and I thought I was off

  the hook.

  TWEET!

  175

  Then he told me he’s gonna come to the Fall

  Concert to cheer me on. I told Dad the concert

  is during the school day, so he won’t be ABLE to

  come. But Dad said it’s important to him, so he’s

  gonna take off work.

  Now the pressure’s REALLY on. I’ve been trying

  to learn to play this thing ever since, but trust

  me, it’s not easy.

  I asked Rowley to come over and help me

  tonight, because I figured he’s been in the band

  for a while and knows a thing or two about

  instruments. But every time the two of us are in a

  room together, we end up getting distracted.

  WHAP

  176

  Dad was pretty mad, because he said all me and

  Rowley do when we’re together is screw around.

  So he sent Rowley home and told me to get back

  to work. But even that girl in the videos gave up

  trying to learn the French horn, so I guess I’m

  REALLY on my own.

  Wednesday

  Today was the day of the big Fall Concert. I never

  technically learned how to play my instrument,

  but I did figure out how to get BY.

  I sit right next to Evan Pittman in band

  practice, and he can play his French horn just

  fine. I realized if I just piggybacked on him

  and PRETENDED I was playing, he could do

  the work for BOTH of us.

  #$@%!

  *@$#!!!

  177

  So that’s what I’ve been doing for the past two

  weeks. And if Mrs. Graziano didn’t notice from

  ten feet away, I knew DAD wouldn’t notice from

  across the room.

  But ten minutes before showtime, Evan was

  nowhere to be found. I asked his best friend,

  Marcus Perez, where Evan was, and Marcus said

  Evan was getting his braces off today and was

  going to miss the concert.

  I couldn’t BELIEVE Evan would hang me out

  to dry like that. I thought the brass section is

  supposed to have each other’s BACKS.

  When it came time for the band to do warm-ups,

  I started to SWEAT.

  TWEET

  TOOT

  WRIGGLE

  WRIGGLE

  178

  I was praying Dad forgot about the Fall Concert,

  but then there he was at the stage door.

  After the audience took their seats, it was time

  to go on stage. Mrs. Graziano led us out in single

  file, with the brass section going next to last.

  But the woodwinds were right behind us, and that

  idiot Jake McGough stepped on the back of my

  shoe and gave me a flat tire.

  RAP

  RAP

  STEP

  179

  I had to put my horn down to fix my shoe, and

  when I did, the last kid in the woodwind section

  went through the stage door and let it shut

  behind him.

  I tried to open the door, but it was LOCKED,

  so I pounded on the window. But everyone was

  tuning their instruments and couldn’t hear me.

  CLICK

  POUND

  POUND

  180

  The concert was about to start, and all I could

  think about was Dad looking at my empty chair.

  So I knocked HARDER.

  Luckily, Rowley saw me at the window, got up

  from his chair, and opened the door. But then

  he stepped INSIDE the room and let the door

  shut BEHIND him.

  Now we were BOTH stuck. I knocked on the

  window again, but right at that moment Mrs.

  Graziano struck up the band and everyone started

  playing. Now it was HOPELESS, because there

  was no way anyone was gonna hear me with

  George Deveney pounding away on his kettledrums.

  CLICK

  181

  When the clarinet section piped in, Rowley went

  into a PANIC. He started playing along with the

  rest of the band, which was DEFINITELY not

  helping matters.

  It was pretty clear it was gonna be up to me

  to get us out of there. I tried to pry the door

  open by putting my foot on the wall and pulling

  on the handle with all my strength. But I guess

  my pants couldn’t take the stress.

  TOOT

  TWEET
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  TOOT

  TOOT

  TWEET

  TOOT

  RIPPP

  182

  I looked in the mirror on the back wall to check

  the damage, and there was a five-inch tear down

  the middle of my pants. That was really bad news,

  because you could see my underwear.

  I realized that even if we managed to get the

  door back open, I couldn’t go out there with this

  giant HOLE in my pants. So I looked around

  the room to see if there was anything I could

  use to cover up. I found a black binder on Mrs.

  Graziano’s desk, and I slipped it down the back

  of my pants.

  TOOT

  TWEET

  TOOT

  TOOT

  TWEET

  TOOT

  183

  The binder covered up the hole pretty well, and

  from a distance no one would be able to notice. But

  it was so STIFF, I couldn’t actually sit DOWN.

  So I had to take it out and come up with a

  different idea.

  Then I thought of a solution. I grabbed a black

  marker off Mrs. Graziano’s desk and told Rowley

  to color in the part of my underwear that was

  showing. That way, no one would even know my

  pants ripped.

  Unfortunately, that’s right when DAD came

  through the door. I don’t know what it looked like

  to HIM, but I have a feeling it didn’t look GOOD.

  TOOT

  TWEET

  TOOT

  SCRIBBLE

  SCRIBBLE

  184

  Thursday

  No matter how many times I explained to Dad

  what had happened at the Fall Concert, he didn’t

  want to hear it. He said me and Rowley were

  goofing off when we should’ve been performing

  with the band, and that’s all he needed to know.

  My punishment is two weeks with no television or

  video games, and I’m not allowed to have friends

  over after school. The only thing I really CAN

  do is practice my French horn, which I guess is

  the point.

  But practicing that thing stresses me out, and