Dog Days (Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Book 4) Read online

SHAKER

  The teenagers we pranked weren’t too happy,

  though, and they came after us. Me and Rowley

  ran as fast as we could, and we didn’t stop until

  we were pretty sure we shook those guys.

  But I still didn’t feel safe. I asked Rowley to

  show me some of the moves he learned in karate so

  we could handle those guys if they found us.

  188

  But Rowley said he’s a gold belt in karate and he

  wasn't going to teach his moves to a “no belt.”

  I SURVIVED

  THE

  CRANIUM

  We hid there a while more, but the teenagers

  never showed up, and eventually we decided the

  coast was clear.That’s when we realized we were

  underneath Kiddie Land, so there was a whole new

  batch of victims for our dollar bill trick right above

  our heads. And we got a muCH better reaction

  out of those kids than we did from the teenagers.

  ZIP

  I SURVIVED

  THE

  CRANIUM

  SHAKER

  189

  But one of the kids was really fast, and he

  grabbed the dollar before I could pull it

  down. So me and Rowley had to go up on the

  boardwalk to get it back.

  T-SHIRTS

  I SURVIVED

  THE

  CRANIUM

  SHAKER

  This kid wasn’t budging, though. I tried to

  explain the concept of personal property to him,

  but he stIll wouldn’t give us our money.

  I was getting pretty frustrated with this kid,

  and that’s when Rowley’s parents showed up. I

  was pretty glad to see them because I figured if

  ANYoNe could talk some sense into this kid, it

  was Mr. Jefferson.

  190

  But Mr. Jefferson was mad, and I mean

  ReAllY mad. He said he and Mrs. Jefferson

  had been looking all over for us for the past

  hour and they were ready to call the police to

  report us missing.

  T-SHIRTS

  i survived

  the

  cranium

  shaker

  Then he told us we had to get in the car. But

  on the way to the parking lot, we walked past

  the arcade. I asked Mr. Jefferson if we could

  please have another dollar since we never did get

  to spend that one he gave us.

  But I guess that wasn’t the right thing to

  ask, because he took us back to the car without

  saying a word.

  191

  When we got back to the cabin, Mr. Jefferson

  said me and Rowley had to go straight to our

  room. That really stunk, because it wasn’t even

  8:00 and it was still light outside.

  But Mr. Jefferson said we had to go to bed and

  that he didn’t want to hear a peep out of us

  until morning. Rowley was taking it really hard.

  From the way he was acting, I don’t think he’s

  ever been in trouble with his dad before.

  I decided to lighten the mood a little bit. I

  walked around on the shag carpet and then gave

  Rowley a static electricity shock as a joke.

  192

  zip

  That seemed to get Rowley to snap out of it.

  He walked around in a circle for about five minutes

  rubbing his feet on the carpet, and then got me

  back while I was brushing my teeth.

  zap

  I couldn’t let Rowley one-up me like that, so

  when he got into bed I got his boppy balloon,

  pulled back the giant rubber band, and let it rip.

  193

  If I had to do it again, maybe I wouldn’t have

  pulled back so hard.

  thwap

  When Rowley saw the red mark on his arm he

  screamed, and I knew that was gonna attract

  attention. Sure enough, his parents were up in our

  room in five seconds.

  he…he

  burned me!

  I tried to explain that the mark on Rowley’s

  arm was from a rubber band, but that didn’t

  seem to matter to the Jeffersons.

  194

  They called my parents, and two hours later Dad

  was at the cabin to pick me up and take me home.

  Monday

  Dad’s really mad that he had to drive four hours

  round-trip to come get me. But Mom wasn’t mad

  at all. She said the incident between me and

  Rowley was just “horseplay” and she was glad

  we were “pals” again.

  But Dad is still mad, and it’s been really chilly

  between us ever since we got back. Mom’s been

  trying to get the two of us to do something like

  go to the movies together so we can “make

  peace,” but I think right now it's best for me

  and Dad to just stay out of each other's way.

  195

  I think Dad’s bad mood is here to stay, though,

  and part of it has nothing to do with me. When

  I opened up today’s paper, here’s what I saw in

  the Arts section —

  Arts

  Beloved comic to continue

  “Li’l Cuite” to be carried on

  by orignal cartoonist’s son

  In a stunning development, Tyler post,

  the son of “Li’l Cutie” cartoonist Bob

  Post, will take up the pen and carry on

  his father’s enduring one-panel comic.

  “I didn’t really have a job or any big

  plans so one day I said, ’How hard can

  it be?’” said Tyler, who, at 32, is living

  with his father. It is widely believed that

  See CUTIE, page A2

  Related: Leisure Towers

  residents rejoice, page A3

  Tyler Post will pen new “Li’l Cutie” comics, the first of

  which will appear in the paper a week from Sunday.

  the Li’l cutie character is based

  Last night Dad came into my room and talked to

  me, which was the first time we spoke to each

  other in about three days. He said he wanted to

  make sure I was around on Sunday, and I said

  I would be.

  Later on I heard him talking to someone on the

  phone, and he seemed to be acting kind of secretive.

  196

  yes … and i’ll leave him

  with enough food and

  water for a week.

  After that I asked Dad if he was taking me

  anywhere in particular on Sunday, and that

  seemed to make him really uncomfortable. He said

  no, but he wouldn’t look me in the eye.

  Now I knew Dad wasn’t telling the truth, so I

  started to get kind of worried. Dad was willing to

  ship me off to a military academy before, and I

  wouldn’t put anything past him.

  I didn’t know what to do, so I told Rodrick

  what was going on and asked him if he had any

  theories about what Dad was up to. He told me

  he’d think about it, and a little while later he

  came up to my room and shut the door.

  197

  Rodrick told me he thought Dad was so mad about

  the Rowley thing that he was gonna get rid of me.

  I wasn’t sure if I believed him, because Rodrick’s

  not always 100% reliable. But Rodrick told me if

  I didn�
��t believe him I should go check out Dad’s

  day planner and see for myself. So I went into

  Dad's office and opened his calendar to Sunday,

  and here's what I found —

  sunday

  august 22

  Sell

  Greg

  198

  I’m pretty sure Rodrick was pulling my leg,

  because it looked an awful lot like his handwriting.

  But Dad’s kind of an unpredictable guy, so I

  guess I’ll just have to wait until Sunday to know

  for sure.

  Sunday

  The good news is Dad didn’t sell me or give me

  away to an orphanage today. The bad news is,

  after what happened, he probably will.

  At about 10:00 this morning, Dad said to get in

  the car because he wanted to take me into the city.

  When I asked what for, he said it was a “surprise.”

  shudder

  On the way into the city we stopped for gas. Dad

  had left a map and directions on the dashboard of

  the car, so now I knew where we were going: 1200

  Bayside Street.

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  Well, I was pretty desperate, so for the first

  time ever I used my Ladybug.

  I finished my call right before Dad came back to

  the car, and we headed into the city. I just

  wish I took a better look at that map, because

  when we pulled up to Bayside Street, I realized

  it was the parking lot for the baseball stadium.

  But by then it was too late.

  It turns out Mom had bought us tickets to the

  baseball game for some special father-son bonding

  and Dad was trying to keep it a surprise.

  Beep

  200

  But it took Dad a long time to explain all of

  that to the cops. After he cleared things up

  with the police, Dad wasn’t in the mood for a

  baseball game, so he just took me home.

  I felt kind of bad because the seats Mom got us

  were in the third row, and it looked to me like

  they cost a fortune.

  201

  Tuesday

  I finally found out what that phone call was all

  about the other day. Dad had been on the phone

  with Gramma, and they were talking about Sweetie,

  not me.

  Mom and Dad had decided to give the dog to

  Gramma, and Dad dropped Sweetie off on

  Sunday night. To be honest with you, I don’t

  think anyone’s really gonna miss him around here.

  Me and Dad haven’t talked to each other since

  then, and I’ve been looking for excuses to stay

  out of the house. I found a really good one

  yesterday. There was a commercial on tv for

  this store called the Game Hut, which is where

  I buy all my video games.

  202

  They’re having a competition where you play at

  your local store, and if you win you get to

  advance to the national playoffs. And the winner

  of that gets a million bucks.

  The competition at my local store is on Saturday.

  I’m sure there are gonna be a ton of people at

  that thing, so I’m gonna go super early to make

  sure I get a good place in line.

  I learned that trick from Rodrick. Whenever he

  wants to get tickets to a concert, he camps out

  the night before. In fact, that’s where he met

  his band’s lead singer, Bill.

  CAN I BUM

  A POTATO

  CHIP?

  NO

  LOITERING

  203

  Rowley and his dad go camping all the time, so

  I knew he had a tent. I called Rowley and told

  him about the video game contest and how we

  could win a million bucks.

  But Rowley was acting nervous on the phone. I

  think he was still worried that I had electrical

  superpowers or something, and the only way to

  get him to calm down was to promise I wouldn’t

  use them on him.

  Even after we were past that, Rowley didn’t

  seem comfortable with the campout idea. He said

  his mom and dad banned him from seeing me for

  the rest of the summer.

  I pretty much figured that, but I had a plan

  to get around it. I told Rowley that I’d tell

  my parents I was going up to his house to spend

  the night, and he could tell his parents he was

  going to Collin’s.

  204

  Rowley stIll didn’t seem sure, so I told him

  I’d bring him his very own box of gummy bears if

  he came along, and that sold him.

  Saturday

  Last night we met at the top of the hill at 9:00.

  Rowley brought the camping equipment and the

  sleeping bag, and I brought the flashlight and

  some chocolate energy bars.

  I didn’t have the gummy bears right at that

  moment, but I promised Rowley I’d buy him some

  the first chance I got.

  When we got to the Game Hut we were the only

  people there, and I couldn’t believe our luck.

  205

  So we pitched our tent in front of the store

  before anyone else could take our spot.

  twisted

  wizard

  used

  games

  whack

  Then we watched the door to make sure no one

  tried to cut in front of us.

  I figured the best way to save our place in line

  was to sleep in shifts. I even offered to take

  the first shift and let Rowley sleep, because

  that’s just the kind of person I am.

  206

  After my shift was over I woke Rowley up for

  his turn, but he fell back asleep in about five

  seconds. So I shook him awake and told him he

  needed to stay alert.

  Rowley didn’t even bother trying to defend himself.

  i don’t even

  really like

  video games!

  I decided it was up to me to make sure nobody

  got in front of us, so I stayed up all night. I

  was starting to have trouble keeping my eyes open

  around 9:00 in the morning, and I ate both of

  the energy bars I packed to keep myself going.

  I got chocolate all over my hands, and that gave

  me an idea. I opened the tent flap, then slipped

  my hand inside and made it crawl like a spider.

  207

  I thought it would be funny to make Rowley

  think it was the muddy hand. I didn’t hear any

  noises coming from inside the tent, so I thought

  Rowley was still sleeping. But before I had a

  chance to open the flap and check, my hand got

  crushed to smithereens.

  wham

  wham

  wham

  wham

  I pulled my hand out of the tent, and my thumb

  was already starting to turn purple.

  I was really ticked off at Rowley. Not because

  he smashed my hand with a mallet, but because

  he thought that it could stop the muddy hand.

  208

  Any fool knows you have to either use fire or acid

  to stop a muddy hand. All a mallet’s gonna do is

  make it angry.

  I was about to give Rowley a piece of my mind,

  but right then the guy from the G
ame Hut came

  and opened the front door. I tried to ignore

  the throbbing pain in my thumb and focus on the

  reason we came here.

  used

  games

  The Game Hut guy wanted to know why we

  had a tent in front of the store, so I told

  him we were there to compete in the video

  game contest. But he didn’t even know what

  I was talking about.

  209

  So I had to show him the poster from the window

  to get him up to speed.

  The clerk said the store wasn’t really set up for

  a video game tournament but since there were

  only two of us, maybe we could just play each

  other in the back room.

  I was a little irritated at first, but then I realized

  all I needed to do to win this tournament was to

  beat Rowley. So the clerk set us up to play a

  death match in Twisted Wizard. I almost felt

  sorry for Rowley, because I’m pretty much an

  expert at that game. But when we started to

  play, I realized my thumb was so messed up I

  couldn’t press the buttons on the controller.

  210

  All I could do was run around in circles while

  Rowley shot me over and over.

  yippeee!

  zap!

  Rowley ended up beating me 15-0. The clerk

  told Rowley he won the competition and had a

  choice: He could either fill out the paperwork to

  go to the national tournament, or he could get a

  giant box of chocolate-covered raisins.

  I’ll bet you can guess which one Rowley picked.

  211

  Sunday

  You know, I should have just stuck with my

  original plan and stayed inside this summer,

  because all my trouble started the minute I

  stepped out of the house.

  I haven’t seen Rowley since he stole that video

  game competition from me, and Dad hasn’t spoken

  to me since I almost got him arrested.

  But I think things started to turn around for

  me and Dad today. You remember that article

  about how “Li’l Cutie” was being passed on from

  the father to his son?

  Well, the son’s first comic came out in the paper