Cabin Fever (Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Book 6) Read online

  something was seriously wrong.

  There was at least a FOOT of water covering

  the basement floor. I guess all that snow was

  too much for the ground to hold and it caused

  the basement to flood.

  I told Mom to come downstairs quick, and when

  she did, she was REALLY upset that a bunch of

  our stuff was ruined. But to be honest with you,

  there were some things floating in the water that

  I didn’t MIND getting wrecked.

  176

  Mom keeps a “memory box” for each of us kids,

  and mine was on the bottom shelf, so it was

  mostly underwater. One of the things that was in

  the box was my bed-wetting calendar from when I

  was eight years old.

  Let me just say in my defense that there was

  a perfectly good reason why I was wetting the

  bed back then. In those days I drank a lot of

  water before I went to sleep at night, and then

  I’d have these crazy dreams that made me need

  to go.

  Our hose is ripprd!

  How are we gonna

  put out the fire?

  SLURRRP

  177

  I finally figured out what the issue was, but not

  before I got five frowny-face stickers in a row.

  March

  Some of the yearbooks from my elementary school

  days were soaked, but I didn’t mind that, either.

  My fifth-grade yearbook was in my memory box,

  and that’s the one where we were allowed to

  choose whatever kind of background we wanted for

  our school picture.

  I was the only kid in the whole school who chose

  “Natural Setting.”

  178

  Haverly,

  Jordan

  Health,

  Olivia

  Heffley,

  Gregory

  Henry,

  Jared

  I knew I should’ve just gone with a regular

  background, but Mom talked me into it when the

  forms came home from school.

  Pick this one!

  you’ll look so

  Rugged!

  I don’t really understand why Mom was so upset.

  Most of the stuff that got ruined was in the

  basement for a reason, and that’s because we

  never USE it. One of the things Mom was really

  sad about was a “spoon carousel” Gammie gave us

  five or six years ago.

  179

  I think we were supposed to collect a spoon from

  every country in the world, but we only got up

  to Canada.

  I did feel pretty bad for Mom when she found

  out one of the family photo albums got ruined. A

  few years ago Mom got into scrapbooking, and

  she spent a lot of time cutting out pictures and

  doing these really fancy photo pages.

  Spring has

  sprung!

  180

  But there’s one page in that album I didn’t like,

  because Rodrick always teases me about it. It’s

  the one where I had a breakdown before a pony

  ride at the state fair.

  HELP!

  Dregory isn’t

  happy on his first

  pony ride

  Rodrick always says I was scared of the pony,

  but that’s not true at all. I was scared of the

  guy HANDLING the pony, but Mom cropped

  HIM out of the picture.

  181

  Speaking of Rodrick, the flooding didn’t seem to

  bother him at all. In fact, I’ll bet if I hadn’t

  woken him up he would’ve kept sleeping even if his

  bed floated up the stairs and out of the house.

  The rest of the day was pretty awful. The water

  in the basement kept getting higher, so we had

  to make a bucket relay line with some of Manny’s

  sand pails.

  zzzzz

  sploosh

  182

  Dad called from his hotel room to check in on

  us, and Mom told him what happened. Dad said

  he was really sorry he wasn’t home to help, but

  something tells me he’s OK with the way things

  worked out for him.

  I would LOVE to trade places with Dad right

  now, because he’s got a clean room and a king-size

  bed all to himself.

  Mom told me and Rodrick that since the basement

  was flooded, we’re gonna have to share MY room.

  She said it would be good for both of us to get

  used to having a “roommate,” because it was practice

  for college.

  aaahhhh!

  183

  Me and Rodrick shared a room this summer for

  a weekend. We had to spend a few days at

  Gramma’s while Mom and Dad took Manny to a

  kiddie amusement park. Gramma has a guest room,

  so I figured one of us would sleep on her couch

  and the other would get the guest bed.

  But Gramma said the guest room was “occupied,” so

  we couldn’t sleep there. She’d given the whole room

  to Sweetie, the dog we gave her. But you’d hardly

  know he’s the same dog, because Gramma feeds him

  so much he looks like a tick that’s about to pop.

  Gramma said me and Rodrick could sleep together

  on the pullout couch she has in the living room.

  sweetie

  184

  But that couch is covered in plastic because she

  doesn’t trust us kids not to spill something on it.

  So me and Rodrick spent a whole weekend sleeping

  side by side on a queen-size pullout couch. I’d wake

  up every morning in a pool of sweat, and I don’t

  even know if it was Rodrick’s or mine.

  I’m pretty sure that in prison you sleep in bunk

  beds, so if they lock me up at least I’ll have

  a better sleeping arrangement than I did at

  Gramma’s this summer.

  crinkle

  crinkle

  crinkle

  zzzzz

  185

  Monday

  After twelve hours of sharing a room with

  Rodrick, I’m thinking of marching down to the

  police station and turning myself in. Because there’s

  no punishment they can dream up that could be

  worse than what I’m dealing with at home.

  Last night Rodrick brought a bunch of his stuff

  from the basement and put it in my room. This is

  supposed to be a temporary living situation, but

  Rodrick is treating it like a permanent one.

  blink

  Rodrick’s got his drum set on stacks of books to air

  it out, and his dirty clothes are EVERYWHERE.

  186

  This morning when I was getting dressed, I put

  on a pair of boxer shorts that was sitting on my

  dresser. But by the time I realized it was actually

  Rodrick’s dirty underwear, it was too late.

  scream!

  So until Mom did a load of laundry, I wore my

  Halloween costume. It was uncomfortable, but at

  least I knew for sure it was CLEAN.

  chew

  chew

  This afternoon we were down in the basement

  seeing if there was anything we could salvage

  from the flood.

  187

  I noticed something strange floating in the water

  in the storage room, and when
I picked it up I

  almost passed out.

  At first I thought it was a real baby, but then

  I realized it was my long-lost doll, Alfrendo.

  After all this time, Alfrendo wasn’t looking too

  good. I think a mouse must’ve gotten to him, and

  spending a day in the water didn’t help, either.

  188

  But in a weird way I was kind of glad to see him.

  I was living with the guilt of losing Alfrendo for

  all these years, and now I found out he was in

  the house all along.

  In fact, I couldn’t figure out how he wound up

  in the storage room. But I realized it HAD to be

  Dad. He was never really on board with the whole

  doll idea, and I’m sure he got rid of Alfrendo

  when I wasn’t looking.

  does alfrendo have

  a rash from being

  in his yucky old

  diapie too long?

  I figured I’d confront Dad about kidnapping my

  doll when he got home, but at the moment I had

  bigger things to worry about. The first one was

  what I was gonna EAT.

  189

  Over the past few days we’ve been running low on

  food, and if this snow doesn’t melt quick, I don’t

  know WHAT we’re gonna do.

  Mom was supposed to go grocery shopping the day

  the blizzard hit, so we have less food than usual

  to begin with. She said we’re gonna have to start

  “rationing” until she can go back out.

  That could be a while, though. The snow is piled

  up three feet high against the front door, so

  we’re basically trapped inside.

  190

  And Rodrick is spoiling the food we DO have

  left. He drinks milk straight from the carton, so

  there’s no way I’m gonna touch that now.

  glug

  glug

  glug

  I’m actually kind of mad at Dad, because if it

  wasn’t for him, we’d have all the milk we wanted.

  A few years ago I won a contest at the state

  fair where you had to guess how much a baby goat

  weighed, and the winner got to take it home. I

  guessed the weight right, but Dad wouldn’t let me

  have the goat. And if we had that goat, I could

  have a glass of milk whenever I wanted.

  ahh...

  191

  Mom found some burritos in the back of the

  freezer last night and made them for dinner,

  but they tasted funny, so I wouldn’t eat them.

  Mom said I needed to eat SOMETHING, so I

  had ketchup as my main course.

  glop

  Manny didn’t seem to mind the burritos, but he’ll

  eat just about ANYTHING as long as he’s got

  his favorite condiment on it. When Sweetie lived

  with us, he used to chew on the furniture, so we

  sprayed it with this stuff called “Bitter Apple

  Spray” that dogs can’t stand the taste of.

  yuck!

  Bitter Apple

  Spray

  192

  But for whatever reason, Manny LOVES the

  taste of Bitter Apple Spray, and to this day he

  uses it on almost everything he eats.

  spray

  spray

  Speaking of Sweetie, I got so hungry today that

  I was seriously thinking about eating some of the

  dog treats I found in the back of our pantry.

  But Mom told me they have different standards for

  making dog food than they do for people food, so

  that stopped me from eating any, at least for now.

  Bac’n

  snax

  Made with REAL animal by-products

  193

  I can’t believe I’m practically starving here

  while Sweetie is living the good life at Gramma’s,

  enjoying her home-cooked meals.

  scrape

  glop

  I only have myself to blame about the food

  situation, though. We had a bunch of canned

  food until a week before Thanksgiving, but then

  I gave almost ALL of it to the Food Drive at

  school. I got rid of the things I don’t like to

  eat, like yams and beets.

  194

  But I’ll bet whoever got our rejects is having a

  pretty good laugh about it right now.

  I was starting to wonder whether toothpaste had

  any nutritional value when I remembered I actually

  DID have something edible in my desk drawer.

  When Dad wouldn’t let me take the goat home

  from the state fair, Mom got me a giant

  gobstopper to make up for it. I spent the whole

  fall working on that thing.

  195

  I figure if we DO run out of food in the house,

  that gobstopper will help me survive at least

  another week.

  lick

  Tonight the electricity cut out for a few seconds

  and then came back on. Mom said there was a lot

  of ice on the power lines and we were probably

  gonna lose our electricity at some point.

  She said if that happened, we needed to keep the

  freezer door closed so the food inside didn’t thaw

  out and get ruined. She also said we’d need to

  keep the doors to the house shut so we didn’t lose

  too much heat.

  196

  Manny got REALLY upset, and whenever he

  gets scared he hides in his room. One time when

  Manny was younger, I told him a witch lived in

  our basement, and he got really spooked. He went

  missing for a few hours, but we eventually tracked

  him down to his sock drawer.

  Mom was right about the electricity, because

  fifteen minutes after her prediction, the power

  cut off and didn’t come back on. She tried to call

  the electric company, but her cell phone battery

  was dead. Every hour the temperature dropped

  another two or three degrees, and we had to get

  a blanket to keep ourselves warm.

  chatter

  chatter

  chatter

  197

  Manny just stayed in his room the whole time,

  and I’m sure he was scared out of his mind. I was

  actually pretty worried myself.

  When you’re used to having electricity and then all

  of a sudden it’s taken away, you’re basically just

  one step away from being a wild animal. And with

  no phone or TV, we were totally cut off from the

  outside world.

  I would’ve felt a lot better if our street was

  plowed, because then we’d at least be connected to

  the rest of civilization. But I’m sure the snowplow

  guy is gonna come to our street last, because every

  time he comes up our hill he gets ambushed.

  splat

  rumble

  198

  There really wasn’t any point in staying awake, so

  I just went to bed, and Rodrick followed me into

  the room a few minutes later.

  It was freezing cold, and I remembered a story

  I read in a magazine about these two guys who

  were stranded out in the wilderness and had to

  share a sleeping bag to conserve body heat.

  I looked over at Rodrick and thought about it

  for a second, but then I decided my dignity was

 
; more important to me than staying alive.

  All I can say is, prison’s gotta be a lot better

  than THIS. I’m pretty sure they guarantee you a

  warm cell and three meals a day, so when the police

  do come back, believe me, I’ll be ready to go.

  shiver

  shiver

  shiver

  199

  Tuesday

  When I woke up today, I realized I’d somehow

  lost Alfrendo again, but I wasn’t too upset about

  it. I was pretty happy to be reunited with my

  doll yesterday, but it hasn’t been easy picking up

  where we left off.

  This morning I noticed it was snowing a lot less,

  but the electricity was still out, and Mom said

  we were just gonna have to adapt to our new

  circumstances until the snow melted.

  so, uh…what’s

  been going on

  with you?

  She said I hadn’t showered in a few days and I

  couldn’t live like a “savage.” I promised Mom I’d

  bathe TWICE a day once the electricity came

  back on, but she made me go upstairs to take a

  shower anyway.

  200

  The water was freezing cold, and the only towel

  in the bathroom was one Mom used yesterday. So

  I had to dry myself with some gauze I found in

  the cabinet under the sink.

  dab

  dab

  After I got dressed, I heard a knock on

  the front door. I thought maybe the police

  had finally come to take me away, and I felt

  dizzy. But when I looked out the window I saw

  ROWLEY standing there, and he had something

  in his hands.

  201

  I thought Rowley had come to RESCUE us. But

  when I opened the door, he told me he brought us

  Christmas cookies, and then he asked me if I wanted

  to come outside and play. I told him he was out of

  his MIND and asked him how his family was surviving

  without any electricity, but he looked confused.

  Rowley said his family still had electricity and

  everyone else on the street did, too. And sure