The Last Straw (Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Book 3) Read online

  well, but you seem O.K., I guess.

  K.I.T.

  Holly

  I handed my yearbook to Rowley to show him

  what Holly wrote. But then he showed me what

  she wrote in his yearbook, and it kind of made

  her note to me look lame.

  Dear Rowley,

  You are so adorable & funny!

  I hope we have the same

  homeroom next year. Stay cute!

  Love, Holly

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  A couple of minutes later, Holly’s yearbook came

  around, and I had a chance to sign it. So

  here’s what I put —

  Dear Holly-

  You are a nice person and all, but I

  only think of you as a friend.

  From,

  Slick

  The way I see it, I just did Rowley a huge

  favor. I don’t want to see him get his heart

  stomped on by Holly Hills, because the truth is,

  girls can be a little cruel sometimes.

  Saturday

  Today was my only day of summer vacation, and I

  had to spend it at Seth Snella’s half-birthday

  party. I asked Mom to let me stay home so I

  could enjoy myself, but she said we were going to

  the party as a family.

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  Dad didn’t even bother fighting it, because he

  knew he wasn’t getting out of it, either.

  So at 1:00 we walked across the street to the

  Snellas’ house.

  The Snellas really did it up this year. They had

  a clown making balloon animals, and a moon bounce

  for the kids.

  They even had live music. Rodrick was pretty

  sore over that because his band, Löded Diper,

  tried out for the job, but the Snellas turned

  them down.

  Everyone ate lunch, and then at 3:30 the main

  event started.

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  Mr. and Mrs. Snella had all the adults line up in

  front of Seth, and they all took turns trying

  to make him smile. Mr. Henrich went first.

  I noticed Dad looking really nervous at the back

  of the line. At one point I walked by Dad to get

  myself some cupcakes, and he stopped me. He told

  me if I could get him out of this situation, he’d

  owe me big-time.

  SQUAWK!

  SQUAWK!

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  I thought it was pretty ironic that Dad would

  be asking me for a favor, especially since he’s

  the one who’s shipping me off to military school

  tomorrow. So I was fine with letting him squirm.

  But that doesn’t mean I wanted to see my

  Dad acting like a baboon in front of the whole

  neighborhood, either. I thought about sneaking

  home to spare myself the shame.

  That’s when I saw Manny on the other side of

  the deck, poking around Seth’s presents.

  Manny found the present that was from our

  family, and he ripped it open. As soon as I saw

  what it was, I knew things were about to get

  real complicated.

  Toss

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  It was a blue knit blanket, just like the one

  manny used to have as a baby. And you could

  tell Manny thought he had found himself a

  brand-new Tingy.

  I went over to Manny and told him he was gonna

  have to hand over the blanket because it was for

  the baby, not him. But Manny wouldn’t cough it up.

  When Manny realized I was gonna take away the

  blanket, he just turned around and chucked it over

  the railing.

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  The blanket landed in the branch of a tree. I

  knew I had to get it back before Mom found

  out, so I got down off the deck and started

  climbing up the tree.

  Right when I was about to grab the blanket, my

  foot slipped, and I was left hanging there. I

  tried to pull myself back up, but I didn’t have

  the strength.

  I probably would’ve been able to do it, but the

  only thing I had to eat today was a grape soda

  and the frosting off of a piece of cake, so I had

  no energy.

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  I yelled for help, but I really wish I didn’t

  call attention to myself. Because right when

  everyone came over to see what was going on, my

  pants came loose and fell down around my ankles.

  It wouldn’t have happened if I was wearing my

  own pants. But I never washed my dress

  pants after they got that chocolate all over

  them, so I was borrowing a pair of Rodrick’s

  pants, which were about two sizes too big on me.

  The situation was humiliating enough, but then I

  realized something even worse. I was wearing

  my Wonder Woman Underoos.

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  Eventually, Dad ran over and helped get me

  down, but not before Mr. Snella got the whole

  thing on tape. And something tells me that this

  time around, he has a good shot at the “America’s

  Funniest Families” Grand Prize.

  After that, Dad hustled me home, and I thought

  he was gonna be really mad at me. But it turns out

  that my accident happened right when Dad was

  next up to go in front of Seth Snella, so I saved

  him from having to take his turn.

  And get this: Dad thinks I faked the whole

  thing to bail him out.

  I wasn’t about to correct him, either. I made

  myself a big bowl of ice cream, sat down in front

  of the tV, and tried to enjoy the rest of my

  one day of freedom as best I could.

  That’s My

  Son!

  Slap

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  Sunday

  When I woke up this morning, it was a quarter

  past 11:00. I couldn’t figure out why I was

  still in bed, because Dad was supposed to drive

  me to Spag Union at 8:00.

  So I went downstairs. Dad was sitting at the

  kitchen table reading the paper, and he wasn’t

  even dressed yet.

  Blink

  Blink

  Sip

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  When I walked into the kitchen, Dad told me

  we could “rethink” this military academy thing. He

  said maybe I could just do some push-ups and

  sit-ups every once in a while, and that would be

  just as good as the summer conditioning program

  at Spag Union.

  I couldn’t believe my ears. I guess Dad felt like

  he owed me for saving him yesterday, and this

  was his way of paying me back.

  I walked out of the house and went up to

  Rowley’s before Dad could change his mind. And

  on my way up the hill, I realized that I was on

  summer vacation.

  Tweet

  Tweet

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  I knocked on Rowley’s door, and when he

  answered, I told him I didn’t have to go to

  Spag Union after all.

  Rowley didn’t even know what I was talking

  about, so that just shows you how clueless he can

  be sometimes.

  We played Rowley’s Twisted Wizard 2 for a while,

  and then his parents kicked us out of the house.

  So we grabbed some popsicles and went and sat

  on his front curb.<
br />
  You’ll never believe what happened next. A

  really cute girl I had never seen before walked up to

  us and introduced herself.

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  She said her name was Trista and that she just

  moved in down the street.

  I looked at Rowley, and it was pretty obvious he

  was thinking what I was thinking. So it took me

  about two seconds to come up with a plan.

  But then I had a Better idea.

  Hi!

  Clonk

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  Rowley’s family belongs to a country club, and he’s

  allowed to bring two guests to his pool every day.

  So that could actually work out real nice.

  It looks like things are finally going my way,

  and you know, it’s about time. I don’t know

  anyone who deserves to catch a break more

  than me, because like I said before, I’m pretty

  much one of the best people I know.

  Go Fetch Us

  Some Slushies!

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  And I know it’s really corny to finish with a

  happy ending, but it looks like I’m out of paper

  anyway, so I guess this is

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